Marital problems don’t always lead to divorce. At times they may cause you to feel like you want to run screaming toward the courthouse but, that doesn’t have to be the situation. I know you’ve heard this before but, I’m going to say it again anyway…marriage is work, a lot of work. The stress and strain of every day life can distract us at times and cause us to lose focus on the work that needs to be done in the marriage. That same stress can invade a marriage, exacerbate, and magnify any marital problems and issues in the marriage.
Most marital problems are typical. In other words if you are married, you will, at some point be faced with pretty much the same issues that most married people face. There is no true way to gauge whether the problems in your marriage are insurmountable. Your commitment to the marriage and your spouse determines how much you are willing to put up with and how hard you are willing to work on the marriage. If you are thinking about divorce or feeling like taking a jog down to the courthouse, ask yourself some of the follow questions.
-Are you to the point that your spouse just can’t do anything right, does everything they do get under your skin?
-Does everything lead to an argument?
-Are you tired of the fighting, so tired you can’t muster of the energy to even engage anymore?
Has the love you felt been replaced by resentment?
-Would you rather be anywhere than with your spouse?
-When you and your spouse are together do you find you have nothing to talk about or that you have little interest in talking to him/her?
-Does the idea of sex with your spouse cause you to shudder?
-Are you having an affair or thinking about having an affair?
-You find yourself doing the opposite of what your spouse needs from you just to spite him/her?
-Are thoughts of divorce running through your mind on a regular basis?
Don’t worry, just because you answered yes to most of the questions doesn’t necessarily mean you are headed for divorce. It does mean, however that your marriage is in trouble and that it is time to evaluate your feelings as far as your commitment to the marriage. Steps need to be taken to either fix the problems in the marriage or to get the ball rolling and the divorce process started. Staying stuck in an unhappy marriage should not be an option for you or your spouse. Get to work finding a solution for the problems or you will end up in divorce court.
By Cathy Meyer