Sunday, January 25, 2009

How to Handle Comments on Your Blog

It is a common feature of blogs that the owners allow visitors to post comments if they wish. These comments may have something to do with the blog subject matter or could be completely unrelated. The comments could also be in favour of, or against the blog material. Whatever the nature of the comment, the blogger has the option of dealing with these in a variety of ways.

The blog owner can:

* Answer the comments
* Block individual visitors from making further comments
* Delete the comments
* Adjust the blog settings so that comments must be approved by the administrator before being published

So let's have a look at each of these options in further detail.

Answering Comments on Your Blog

Most blog programs, especially the most popular Wordpress, will allow you to post comments on your own blog, which gives you the opportunity to answer positive or negative comments by others. You have the option to recognize criticisms and defend your original post with a rebuttal to negative comments. When you receive positive comments, you can also thank the visitors for the praise you've received. You may also receive comments in the form of questions or requests for further information. You can use this as an opportunity to develop better relationships with your blog visitors.

Blocking Comments from Specific Visitors

Unfortunately, not all blog comments are helpful. Some are mean spirited while others may simply be spam comments from people who are either looking for backlinks to their site, or just plain mischievous. To help prevent spam comments you should consider using the Akismet plugin if you are using Wordpress. This contains a database of spammers and spam formats is able to catch spam comments and quarantine them before they are published. The blogger may also wish to ban individual blog visitors if their comments are unreasonable or scandalous.

Adjusting the Blog Settings

There are ways of preventing some of the unpleasant outcomes in the above paragraph by setting your administrative features to not allow blog comments to be published until you have approved them. If you don't like the comment, you can simply delete it or mark it as spam. You can usually choose to be notified by email whenever a visitor posts a comment, so that you can handle it without delay, especially if it is a spammer using your blog to get backlinks at your expense. The blog owner can simply delete any comments they don't want others to read before the comments are published.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Marital Problems That Often Lead to Divorce

Marital problems don’t always lead to divorce. At times they may cause you to feel like you want to run screaming toward the courthouse but, that doesn’t have to be the situation. I know you’ve heard this before but, I’m going to say it again anyway…marriage is work, a lot of work. The stress and strain of every day life can distract us at times and cause us to lose focus on the work that needs to be done in the marriage. That same stress can invade a marriage, exacerbate, and magnify any marital problems and issues in the marriage.

Most marital problems are typical. In other words if you are married, you will, at some point be faced with pretty much the same issues that most married people face. There is no true way to gauge whether the problems in your marriage are insurmountable. Your commitment to the marriage and your spouse determines how much you are willing to put up with and how hard you are willing to work on the marriage. If you are thinking about divorce or feeling like taking a jog down to the courthouse, ask yourself some of the follow questions.

-Are you to the point that your spouse just can’t do anything right, does everything they do get under your skin?

-Does everything lead to an argument?

-Are you tired of the fighting, so tired you can’t muster of the energy to even engage anymore?
Has the love you felt been replaced by resentment?

-Would you rather be anywhere than with your spouse?

-When you and your spouse are together do you find you have nothing to talk about or that you have little interest in talking to him/her?

-Does the idea of sex with your spouse cause you to shudder?

-Are you having an affair or thinking about having an affair?

-You find yourself doing the opposite of what your spouse needs from you just to spite him/her?

-Are thoughts of divorce running through your mind on a regular basis?

Don’t worry, just because you answered yes to most of the questions doesn’t necessarily mean you are headed for divorce. It does mean, however that your marriage is in trouble and that it is time to evaluate your feelings as far as your commitment to the marriage. Steps need to be taken to either fix the problems in the marriage or to get the ball rolling and the divorce process started. Staying stuck in an unhappy marriage should not be an option for you or your spouse. Get to work finding a solution for the problems or you will end up in divorce court.
By Cathy Meyer

Thursday, January 15, 2009

How True Love Can Last a Lifetime

How to Make Your True Love Last a Lifetime:
1. Avoid negative thought patterns. Allowing yourself to mentally or verbally tear down your significant other is like gnawing at the bond that holds you together.

2. Remember that your true love means more to you than anyone else--including your parents and your kids. Those who put their children before their spouse are often disappointed to find that they have no relationship left once the kids head out on their own.

3. Be more flexible and forgiving with your spouse than anyone else. We expect our spouse to "understand" our stress or limitations (in other words, put up with our crap). Instead, reserve your patience and kindness for the person who means the most to you.

4. Understand that relationships work on a spiral. The more thoughtful you are to your loved one, the more fulfilled and happy your spouse will be. In return, your spouse will give back to you.

5. Don't get too practical. Some couples forego the flowers, the cards, the dinner dates and the chocolate boxes in favor of saving money. But what's worth more to you? A few bucks or a relationship that will likely affect your whole life and the lives of your children?

6. Do something nice for your spouse every day, even if it's just a chore they typically do. These thoughtful touches will act as reserves against the tough times.

7. Be physical. Touch your spouse a lot, even when there is no hope of it escalating into a sexual encounter. These little reminders that a spouse cares are nurturing to the soul and sends wonderful signals to your children. They feel secure and happy because you are secure and happy, and they are more loving because of the example you've set.

8. Remain loyal and unselfish. Have the grit it takes to stick through thick and thin. And, start worrying more about whether you are being a good spouse than whether your spouse is being a good mate to you, and you'll be glad you did. As much as it may seem otherwise, life isn't all about you, how you're feeling and what you want.

9. Take care of you. You don't have to be model thin or in the blush of youth. But be the best you can be - mentally and physically.

10. Laugh. Don't take life too seriously. It's no fun to be around someone when everything means too much and weighs too heavy.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Make Your Time Together Count

For most couples, time together was not an issue in the beginning of the relationship. Most couples experience an initial period where their priority and primary focus is the other partner and spending every spare minute together. This allows partners to get to know one another and to establish a bond that will form the foundation of their relationship in the years to come.

After this initial period of being practically inseparable, the demands of life begin to come into play and chip away at the time available for togetherness. Normal, healthy couples will begin to see their focus shifting from one another to the work, family and social obligations that have been put on the back burner while the couple established their initial bond.

While this partial shift in focus is normal and necessary, allowing other obligations and priorities to take precedence over your partner and your relationship to the point of neglect will negatively affect your marriage. Next to communication, time is the most important factor in maintaining - or rebuilding - a healthy, strong marriage.

Regardless of how long you have been together, or how busy one or both of you are, you absolutely must prioritize your marriage and place your relationship in the central position that it deserves in your life. Allot your time accordingly and keep in mind that there will never come a time when your partner or your marriage no longer needs your time and attention. Your marriage and your partner cannot thrive if they don't hold a primary position in your life and don't receive the time that they deserve.

In order to rescue a marriage in turmoil, or to make a good marriage even better, refocus your attention on your partner and your relationship and reemphasize their importance in your life. Think back to the beginning when your partner and your relationship were your main priorities and stave off feelings of neglect by reaffirming to your partner that he or she still holds that place of importance in your life.

With today's overly packed schedules full of work, family and social obligations, it is increasingly difficult for couples to find time to spend together without scheduling it in advance. This has led to the modern phenomenon of scheduled "quality time" that often entails forcing couple time into a predetermined time slot crammed in between other duties and activities.

While this so-called quality time is at least a step in the right direction, there are a number of problems with it. One of the most obvious issues is that a preset, fixed appointment for time together is quite simply not enough for any relationship. Also, if you have so many pressing engagements that you can only squeeze out an hour or two each week in between things that are apparently more important, your partner and your relationship will begin to show the signs of neglect. It is impossible for your partner to feel like a priority in your life if you can only afford to give up an hour of your time to be with him or her.

Of course, for some busy couples this may seem like the only option and you may have no idea how to find more time in your limited schedule. While preordained quality time may not be the optimum choice, if this is the only way you can make time in your schedule to focus on your partner and your relationship, then it may be the best option for you until you come up with a better solution.

However, all too often one or both partners are filling their schedules with not only the normal work and family obligations, but also allotting time for partaking in personal interests and hobbies, rather than spending time focusing on their relationship or their partner. When these partners cannot find time in their schedule and must designate quality time, they should take time to consider why it is that they are dedicating their time to individual pursuits outside of the marriage, rather than focusing on their partner and their relationship. It is imperative that these partners re-prioritize their partners and marriages and begin to give their relationship the time and attention that it deserves.

Once you have come to the conclusion that spending time together and focusing on your relationship is integral to the success of your marriage, consider how you want to spend the time that you share. And, keep in mind that just spending time together is not enough. There is a difference between spending time in the same room and actually doing something together. Simply being together in the same place is good, but actively engaging with each other is much better.

Even when selecting activities to do together, your choice of activities also affects the amount of focus and attention you give to one another. Some couples spend their time together engaging in activities that are focused on objects or people outside of the marriage, such as watching a movie, going to a dinner party, or going out to eat. These activities are great to do together and partaking in hobbies and social outlets are important for each of the partners and the relationship; however, these activities should not be included as a significant part of your couple time.

The time that you dedicate as your togetherness time, or couple time, should not include other people or distracting activities. This time should be dedicated solely to each other and to giving your time and attention to your partner to let him or her know that he or she is a priority in your life. This is what fosters open communication, intimacy and ensuring that each other's needs are met and that each partner receives the attention he or she deserves.

Time is one of the greatest gifts you can give you partner and your marriage. If your marriage is in need of repair, or could just use a bit of improvement, revise your priorities and your schedule and place your partner and your marriage in the central position they deserve.
Relationships are the key to have strong community. When relationships break down families break down, communities break down and children are scattered.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Why Men Leave Relationships - The Basic Reason You Need to Know!

Have you ever wondered, "why do men bail out on relationships?" I think that almost everyone will agree that men express their feelings completely different from women.

In fact, there have been countless books, essay, songs, poems, etc. written about this very subject.

So, why do men leave relationships? Well, every man is different, but there is a basic reason most men will give up and walk away from their relationship:

Men have a deep-seated need to feel respect, admiration and desire from their women. If they feel they no longer have their partner's respect, admiration and desire, they may leave the relationship.

Yes, it may be ego, but it is true all the same. During courtship, many women instinctively behave in ways to let their men know they are highly desired by them. They may take an active interest in his profession, laugh at all of his bad jokes, or be a little more "touchy-feely" with him.
However, as time passes on complacency begins to set in. Many men in long-term relationships complain about being "nagged" to death by their partner. The underlying complaint is not so much the nagging itself, but the fact that men tend to interpret constant criticism from their mate as meaning they no longer have their partner's respect or admiration.

Eventually the man may leave to seek out someone who will make him feel desirable and wanted again. This is not to say that you can never communicate your feelings honestly with your man, nor should you become a doormat. It just means that expressions of your love and desire need to always remain in the balance with all of the ways you communicate with your man.

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