Wednesday, February 11, 2009

What Can You Do to Save a Marriage From Falling Apart?

The most common question on the lips of anyone starting out in a relationship is How To Make A Relationship Last and the most common question for married couples is How To Save Marriage? We see marriages breaking down all around us these days and it is a sobering thought that the chances of your relationship surviving for many years are not good so all the more reason to try to ensure your marriage does not add to the statistics of failed relationships.

When you start out in a new relationship everything seems wonderful and you can't see how it could possibly go wrong but over time small irritations and complications can become divisive problems between you and your partner but it doesn't have to be that way.

The most important thing to remember is that the relationship is something you both have a stake in. It isn't all for one person or the other but for both of you. If the relationship is good it will be good for both of you. Everything is about partnership and sharing.

Many couples forget this and as individuals they struggle to achieve what they want in life without even finding out if their partner wants that too. Does your partner want the same thing as you? Do they value money and goods more than they value you and spending time with you? You both need to establish what is important to you both and work together towards those aims.

If you spend all your working hours at work trying to earn more money for a better standard of living you should make sure that is what your partner wants too. It is more than possible that they sit at home feeling lonely wishing you were there and they may not care about financial success.

Do you drag your partner around every weekend to enjoy your hobby but forget to ask what they would like to do? You might be surprised how many people do this and you might be shocked to discover your partner would like to do something different for a change.

The key feature to all these scenarios is to talk to your partner and to find out what it is they want out of life and out of your relationship. You both matter and both of you should be enjoying your relationship together. If one of you is carelessly ignoring the other persons feelings they are going to be disappointed and your relationship will deteriorate because of that.

Most marriages and relationships don't fail because of one big crisis. They usually are already well on the way to falling apart before the one big problem rears it's head and splits a couple apart. If you can work together to overcome incompatibilities and to satisfy personal needs and expectations in a way that leaves you both happy with the compromise you agree together you can save marriage from disaster. You will both be happier and when the big problems come along you will work better together to overcome them and in so doing you will make your relationship even stronger.